Wednesday, 21 December 2011
In another world... Could Girls Aloud do the new Bond movie theme?
We all like to dream, to speculate and theorise on the wildest of scenarios where two of our most favoured passions come together in glorious union. A few years ago it happened for me with the brilliant Voyage of the Damned TV special: Doctor Who and Kylie Minogue paired together for an hour of top-notch tele-visual fantasy.
But if there's one dream combo that represents that absolute pinnacle of crossed-fingers and silent whispers of hope, it's that one day, Girls Aloud will be given the opportunity to record a Bond theme song.
It makes a lot of sense. The girls, as has been generally established, will *hopefully* be reforming in 2012 to mark their landmark 10th anniversary. 2012 is also when much anticipated new Bond flick Skyfall is released. Imagine, if you will, the stratospheric levels of media coverage and debate a Girls Aloud/Bond team-up would generate.
That Xenomania would produce the track is a given. They just have to. Look back at past Girls Aloud hits Sound of the Underground or No Good Advice and already the makings of a great Bond theme exist in them in the action-movie twang of surf guitar. These are high-energy pop delicacies, the like of which Girls Aloud and Xenomania could easily create again with added oomph and a healthy dollop of orchestral styling - it'd be epic beyond measure.
Remember the last Bond theme? Yes, that bag'o'shite effort from Alicia Keys and Jack White. Ok, maybe that's being a little unfair (it wasn't all bad), but it was easily one of the worst Bond themes ever, a pale imitation of past glories. We need something rousing and up-tempo, like Chris Cornell's criminally underrated You Know My Name (which soundtracked Daniel Craig debut Casino Royale). Girls Aloud could deliver this. They're definitively British, sexy, stylish, empowered - everything Bond movies are about.
Search the internet and pop forums are already alive with the speculation that a Girls Aloud/Bond theme could actually happen - there's even betting odds on it! My favourite though is Facebook group: Girls Aloud MUST Record the Next James Bond Theme Song - It boasts a passionate mission statement:
Everyone who has heard one second of a Girls Aloud song knows that they are the greatest pop outfit of all time. And yet whenever the Bond producers come around to choosing artists to record their theme songs they choose oddball pairings like Jack White and Alicia Keys (wtf?) or aesthetically parallel artists like Chris Cornell.
If Girls Aloud were allowed to record the theme song to the next - and as yet untitled - Bond theme they would have the first hit Bond song since "Die Another Day" as well as being the perfect merging of mass-produced pop. They need to stop thinking their movies are intellectual stuff for real brainy types and realise that Girls Aloud are the PERFECT FIT for James Bond. Five sexy women singing something filled to the brim with double meanings. LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN!
Of course, in reality - this will probably never happen (a nation of pop lovers weep at unrealised dreams) - But maybe somewhere, somewhen, in a parallel universe, a Girls Aloud Bond theme becomes the most awesome of pop realities.